Bleeding Moles

While having sex with a guy I'd met through the web last week, he caught a mole on my back and I told him my status, which then initiated a huge panic about whether or not I'd exposed him to the virus. I felt an enormous surge of guilt that I'd not said from the beginning or that I'd not just gone with positive guys like I had considered before. Looking back on the experience, though, I think that rather than prompting me to go all out and tell everyone I meet that I am infected and thus infectious, that I'll stop telling people. This may sound callous and dangerous, but I will tell people instead that my status isn't known, that I haven't tested for a long time so can't say I'm sure about my status. In addition I will take extra cautious about making sure I don't expose other people to risk of transmission.

As I said before, I don't think I want to start choosing partners on the basis of their serostatus because that feels unnecessarily leper colony and distinctly punitive, something I want to avoid quite keenly. I am, however, going to start looking into getting moles and skin tags removed because they do present a risk of bleeding during encounters with other people and, as such, I should really try to minimise that risk. It means telling my GP, which I'm not keen on doing right now, but I might wait until I've had my next clinic appointment with a doctor there who can tell me if that's a sensible precaution to take.

The idea that I'm even considering having parts of my body removed as a result of this infection is something that repulses me, but the annoyance of them being caught and the risk that poses to other people bothers me more, I think.