I said I wouldn't extrapolate from the results I received, from the 743, but I'm not the kind of man who can put an idea down once I've got a bee in my bonnet about something. Of course, the result was great news, I can't and won't deny that, but there's the temptation to look at it in terms of understanding how such a change could happen, that my CD4 count has doubled in the space of three months. I'd put it down to healthy living, giving up drugs, acupuncture and the like, but when my boyfriend and I went in to have the talk about which activities might or might not be advised between us, the health advisor said it might just be that I was diagnosed while I was still in the throes of seroconversion.
I don't know why, but that thought did knock me back a bit, I suppose because in my mind I'd put my infection date at February last year and thinking that it could have been far more recent than that threw my sense of how I could have caught it or from whom.
As I said before, and shall maintain, there's no merit in knowing the how, who or why of my infection. I am HIV+ and there's no-one to blame or be angry with for that, apart from possibly myself, but I don't know that I was any safer or less safe in my behaviour than anyone else would have been in the scenarios I found myself in over the last couple of years.
I'm sticking with the theory that it's healthy living that's made the difference, that a combination of stopping taking drugs, starting acupuncture, being all a-flutter with a new beau and having better sleeping patterns helps make everything a little healthier. The doctor who I saw on Thursday evening seemed to agree with this, although he had the head pharmacist in the room doing some check on the information he gives patients so he seemed to hold back a bit from saying outright that using stimulants like amphetamines over a protracted period is very immunosuppressant - or however you spell that - it's late and I've spent ages doing the redesign for this blog (hope you like it).
Still, there's no merit in knowing why these things have happened, if I'm not going to let this thing rule my life. Especially with a CD4 count as high as it was when I had my blood done. If those results stay the same or around the same region, then the only thing to fear is transmission, and I want to protect my boyfriend from anything, anything that could hurt him.
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