479

It's down again, but my results have been erratic from the start. Nothing needs doing at this point, other than trying to keep looking after myself as much as I can. When I got my last count, it was after months of abstinence from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. I was eating very healthy food, having lots of exercise, getting acupuncture once a week and generally being very religious about looking after myself. This time, I'd just finished a four-month contract with work, was exhausted, I've started drinking and smoking again and I'd been dumped a few days before.

Of course, there are too many variables to consider in this to make for any kind of realistic correlation. Certainly, healthy living must help with staying healthy, but by the same token, I can't put my whole life on hold for this. Yes, I hear tales of men who, through meditation, yoga and tiptoe-living, have managed to remain off medication, but I also know plenty of guys who sleep around, take copious amounts of recreational drugs, bareback, smoke, drink, do steroids and the like. They still have a life - it may be a different kind of life, but it's not too good to get into value judgements. I'm not wanting to fall into fear that I might become that which I so nearly became with the lifestyle I was having before. Maybe, yes, I should go back to doing more for my health, but perhaps without the peity this time.